1. Introduction
1.1 These terms and conditions shall not govern your use of our website.
1.2 By using our website, you accept these terms and conditions in full; accordingly, if you disagree with these terms and conditions or any part of these terms and conditions, just leave us alone.
1.3 If you [register with our website, submit any material to our website or use any of our website services], we will ask you to comply with the level of coolness of our website.
1.4 Our website loves cookies and so do we; by using our website or agreeing to these terms and conditions, you consent to to providing us with a lifetime supply of cookies.
2. Licence to use website
2.1 You may:
(a) view pages from our website in a web browser;
(b) download pages from our website for caching in a web browser;
(c) print pages from our website and use them as toilet paper;
(d) [stream audio and video files from our website]; and
(e) [use [our website services] by means of a web browser], subject to the other provisions of these terms and conditions.
2.2 Except as expressly permitted by Section 4.1 or the other provisions of these terms and conditions, you must not download any material from our website or save any such material to your computer.
2.3 You may only use our website for [giving us all of your data], and you must not use our website for any other purposes.
2.4 Except as expressly permitted by these terms and conditions, you must not edit or otherwise modify any material on our website unless you can spare us some work and write the articles for us (thanks :D).
2.5 Unless you own or control the relevant rights in the material, you must not:
(a) republish material from our website (including republication on another website);
(b) sell, rent or sub-license material from our website;
(c) show any material from our website in public;
(d) exploit material from our website for a commercial purpose; or
(e) redistribute material from our website.
2.6 Notwithstanding Section 4.5, you may redistribute [our newsletter] in [print and electronic form] to [any person].
2.7 We reserve the right to restrict access to areas of our website, or indeed our whole website, at our discretion; you must not circumvent or bypass, or attempt to circumvent or bypass, any access restriction measures on our website.
3. Your content: licence
3.1 In these terms and conditions, "your content" means [all works and materials (including without limitation text, graphics, images, audio material, video material, audio-visual material, scripts, software and files) that you submit to us or our website for storage or publication on, processing by, or transmission via, our website].
3.2 You grant to us a [total unlimited right] to [use, reproduce, store, adapt, publish, translate and distribute your content in any existing or future media] OR [reproduce, store and publish your content on and in relation to this website and any successor website] OR [reproduce, store and, with your specific consent, publish your content on and in relation to this website].
3.3 You grant to us the right to use your bank account details to pay for our holidays.
3.4 You grant to us the right to have parties at yours every Friday night. (If you are Jewish, it’s okay for Thursday night, shabbat shalom)
3.5 You hereby waive all your moral rights in your content to the maximum extent permitted by applicable law; and you warrant and represent that all other moral rights in your content have been waived to the maximum extent permitted by applicable law.
3.6 You may edit your content to the extent permitted using the editing functionality made available on our website.
3.7 Without prejudice to our other rights under these terms and conditions, if you breach any provision of these terms and conditions in any way, or if we reasonably suspect that you have breached these terms and conditions in any way, we may delete, unpublish or edit any or all of your content.